The Art of Knowing When to Shut Up

I have spent a lot of time around people that are extreme introverts and some that are extreme extroverts. Some talk way too much and some don’t raise their voice enough. Normally, we think about this as when to “say the right thing” in the right situation.

I’d rather take a look at the invert: knowing when to shut up.

Keeping our mouths shut in certain scenarios can prove very beneficial if we know what we’re doing. Here are a few business-minded reasons to know when to shut up and keep your thoughts to yourself.

Skipping a Day

Not that you all were hanging on the edge of your seats for a post yesterday, but I feel a bit empty when I don’t write every day. However, I didn’t have a lot to write about and I didn’t want to put out junk just to appease my inner voice. I had to shut it up.

If I posted every day just to “keep the streak alive” I would put out content that you would shy away from and that I would not be proud of.

Negotiating Prowess

If you’ve ever been put through a sales course, you’ve heard the line, “First one to talk loses.” This is a perfect instance of knowing when to shut up.

In sales you are taught many things, but one of the most important is to shut your mouth after you go for the close. It ~~may be~~ will be very uncomfortable but it’s taught for a reason: it works! Here’s a quick scenario of what I’m talking about in case you are lost.

Customer: So what does something like this cost?

Experienced Salesperson: This is normally a $1,000 product. But we are running a special this month for new buyers like yourself. If we I can knock off another $200 and do this TV new in the box with a warranty for $800 would you get it today?

Customer: *Silence*

Experienced Salesperson: *More Silence*

Customer: *Silence*

Experienced Salesperson: *MORE Silence*

Customer: Does that include the delivery?

Experienced Salesperson: Yes it does, when would you like it delivered?

END SCENE

The inexperienced sales person would crack after the customer doesn’t answer right away. They get nervous and squirmish about waiting for an answer. The best sales people train themselves to withstand that uncomfortable silence for as long as it takes.

Why is that? Because it shows confidence in what we just asked. When we talk first, it shows that we are nervous and it gives the customer the upper hand. It also opens up the door for us to talk too much and tell the customer something that would detract from the sense of urgency they built up with the special they were running this month.

Check out this post to learn about closing more sales

The Art of Knowing When to Shut Up

“If you don’t have anything nice to say…”

Yeah we all know the saying, “Don’t say anything at all,” got it Mom. But did we ever question why?

We already looked at a blogging scenario and a negotiating scenario, but how about a marketing scenario?

Marketing doesn’t necessarily have to be actively searching out customers. You could be marketing yourself in a job interview or on a date. Marketing is a broad term, try not to be confined by it’s traditional definition in this example.

Marketing Examples

Content Marketing is something I do when I write. I create (free) content that I distribute any and everywhere in hopes of attracting readers that someday may turn into customers when I begin to sell products/services on this site. If you recall, one of my goals for this year is to be able to monetize my blog, I have started this with my book recommendations on the side-bar. But as I talked about, if I put out so-so or sub-par content, you would never come back to read. Better to shut up than put out mediocre content, right?

Now think about the social media marketing from a large company that has 35,000,000 Likes on Facebook, let’s just call them Oreo. It’s their style to post multiple times per week with funny sayings and cute pictures of their products occasionally posting things with cats and babies and things that make people say “awwwwwwww!

What happens when they begin to post too much of the same thing? What happens when they post 5 pictures in a week about dogs and Oreos? Do you think some people will misconstrue their message with something about dogs?

Sometimes it’s better for companies to not post anything that can be judged or disliked rather than reaching for something that’s not there. The best thing that can happen from forcing a post is they make a couple people giggle, while the worst thing that can happen is they alienate a number of their current and potential customers.

On the flip side of that, knowing when to shut up can help them avoid alienating those customers and keep their brand strong, even if it is with fewer posts. Don’t get me wrong we still have to put ourselves out there, and we have to try new things with our words, our actions, and our marketing. But the worst thing we can do in many situations is to say something just to say it.

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What is a time when you opted for silence? In hindsight, was it the right decision?

Leave me a comment below or chat with me on Twitter

Have a great week!

What Would You Attempt to do if You Knew You Could Not Fail

We all have tons of ideas and aspirations for greatness. Some of us achieve it, and some of us just flop around in the mud. But if we try, we go through this phase. It’s a challenge and it can crush many of us. But what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

Self-Doubt

Plain and simple. I am convinced that self-doubt is the single biggest killer of dreams known to man-kind. We begin to tell ourselves how much we suck.

I can’t do it.
I’m not good enough.
I am not smart enough.
I don’t have those resources.
Nobody will show me what to do.
I do not have a background in that field.

And these start out as whispers in our heads, then we start to question ourselves.

Why am I doing this?
Isn’t there an easier way? (this one booms in my head every single day)
Who am I to blaze that path?
Do I like punishment or something?
Why am I ruffling feathers like this?
Are people noticing what this? Do they care?

Then we start to rationalize with these thoughts. We start to tip just a little bit in that direction of the self-doubt ever so slightly.

Maybe I’ll just take a break from working on it
If I don’t finish nobody will care (except me)
It doesn’t really matter if I accomplish this or not
I started this for stupid motivations anyway
I can live with the fact that I quit on this
People aren’t noticing this
Even worse, people are noticing & they have expectations now

That’s all I know though. I can’t tell you what comes next because this is where I’ve been able shut it down every time. Starting is hard. Shipping is even harder. We go through these phases and if we can’t turn that doubt into motivation it will get the best of us.

Find what motivates you and remember why you started in the first place. Remember that feeling you had when you took your first step towards that goal and let it fill you. Keep that motivation in front of you, today is not the day to give up on your goals!

If I knew there was no option for failure I wouldn’t even be writing this today, I would be hard at work. As you can tell I’m having a little self-doubt these days. Thanks for reading, I’m back in line and I’ve got work to do!

What are you struggling to finish? How has self-doubt struck you recently?

Have a great weekend!

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How to be Perceived as an Expert on Any Subject

Expertise for Meetups

As I was thinking through my post from yesterday I began to think how I can incorporate meetups into my current business. What do I enjoy? What types of services can I offer people? Who do I want to learn from?

All these questions and more began racing through my mind as I tinkered with ideas. The most prominent of these was a meetup based on teaching small business owner’s what I know about SEO (search engine optimization) and online marketing.

That got me thinking… Today I want to discuss how to be perceived as an expert on any subject.

Doubt Showed Up to the Party

I almost immediately dismissed this idea, even though it was the best of the lot. I dismissed it because I told myself I was not an expert, I was not a guru, I was not an SEO ninja. But according to whom am I not any of these things?

Well I am a novice compared to the people I listen to on podcasts and whose articles I read online every day.

But I am a relative expert compared to the small business owner’s that I work with (in the past, currently, and the ones I want to work with) on SEO subjects.

I had to put myself in check and reassure myself of what I know to be true. I can help other small business owners improve their online presence.

Sales Training Examples

When I trained sales people at the furniture company I had to reassure people of this all the time. Many would come to me paralyzed with fear saying things like, “I don’t know enough about the product to sell it” or, “I can’t sell anything until I know all the products by heart.”

I would immediately cut them off and have to explain that you don’t need to know everything about a subject to be perceived as an expert. You just need to know more than the people you are selling to.

It helps a great deal when you know everything, but it’s not necessary. The more knowledge you have, the more widely recognized as an expert you will be considered.

When I first started selling furniture I was in their shoes too. But I had been doing it for years and was considered an expert by peers and even superiors across the industry even though I was significantly younger than most.

Missteps

In furniture sales I would teach everyone to repeat specific lines as their greet, close, and referral pitch. This conversation always came up around the time when new people were coming on board. Some didn’t want to start selling until they had every line memorized.

If you’ve ever played music you are shaking your head with me right now. Your teachers always say, “The audience doesn’t know what it’s supposed to sound like. So if you misstep, keep going and don’t dwell on it.”

It’s the same concept when selling furniture, SEO guidance, or any other product/service you can think of. If you misstep, keep going and get back on course as soon as possible.

One of the best ways to learn is through trial and error. Some of the in-depth knowledge I picked up over the years was because of a challenging customer that knew it all (literally) and corrected me when I misspoke.

Those occasions are rare, but they do come along, and they force you to become better at your craft. They keep you in check so you are constantly sharpening your ax and avoiding arrogance.

Twisting of Words

Please don’t confuse this with me saying, “Lie to people, they’ll never know the difference” because that is not what I intend. I want to be crystal clear with my message today: In your own mind you may not be an expert, but when you know more than others you can be considered an expert to them.

You don’t have to compare yourself to the best in the world. They are the best in the world for a reason, and odds are you are comparing your start to their prime.

The basic premise of this requires that you know more than the people you are selling to or advising. Be sure to do your homework before jumping out there and begin selling yourself or your products, you need a healthy base knowledge before people will even begin to trust that you know what you are talking about.

Don’t forget that today’s consumers are quite savvy and can see through BS just as well as you can!

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Have you had an instance when you were hesitant to consider yourself an expert? Did you get over it? How did it turn out?

Leave a comment below or chat with me on Twitter.

Have a great day!

Is Your Business Capitalizing on the Newest Social Trend?

As our world has become more digitized, there are more people every day that are working from home. Less people are going into an office and less people’s co-workers are seen in person. Many of us (including me) stare at a computer screen for 8-14 hours a day and the most connection we get from our work is a phone call or a Google Hangout… if we’re lucky.

How did this happen? And more importantly what’s going to become of this?

We are social creatures and we can’t hide from each other forever. Today we’ll talk about whether or not your business is capitalizing on the newest social trend: meetups.

A Brief History

As technology has improved over the years, more people (and companies) have found advantages to staying home to work. If someone stays home from work there is less overhead at the office, when people stay home to work they often get more done than if they were working in an office, and if someone is completely remote the are location independent of their work.

This could never have happened 30 years ago since email (not even the internet) was just becoming popular only 20 years ago. We have just recently come into an era when people feel comfortable doing business with someone that is not physically present with them.

The rise of Skype, Google Hangouts, FaceTime, and other visual communication methods have given us comfort in the fact that we can always reach our remote co-workers. Still, most work is still done via written word: email, text messages, and other forms of instant messaging. We just want that comfort that we can see our co-workers if we want to.

The Build Up

In 2012 approximately fifty million workers, 40% of the workforce here in America, could do their job remotely, as opposed to only 2.5 million in 2008. The trend is becoming more and more popular and allowing more people to be location independent.

I have worked remotely for about 7 months now and there are major advantages like fewer distractions, increased productivity, less meetings, and more. But there are also downfalls such as a lack of interaction with people for projects (you can only do so much through a screen for so long), the lack of camaraderie, and the lack of resources (people down the hall) when you get stuck.

In my opinion, and in the data’s opinion, remote work has more upsides than down and we have more remote workers every year. But now that so many people are working from home, they have less social interaction. We are social creatures and we crave social interaction.

There are days when I itch just to go downstairs in hopes of talking to someone in the elevator because I’m going stir crazy. It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or an extrovert, we all need to interact with others!

Now that more people are working remotely, they are more willing and excited to meetup with other people. We want to get out of the house, we want to meetup with other people since we don’t have nearly as much human interaction at work. What we are ‘missing’ from our work, we are attempting to pick up in other places.

Unconsciously, the leader of the WordPress Meetup I went to last week stated this right as we were getting started, “Wow, this is our biggest group yet! How many of you are first timers? Over half the room, that is great!” In a room full of 30 people, over half of us were new to the meetup, apparently a huge increase from only a month ago.

The meetup trend is growing and as more people work remote, more meetups will continue to happen. The question is whether or not your business will take advantage of them and begin to facilitate them.

The Meetup Trend

Meetups have been happening for years, but we often refer to them as parties, get-togethers, and interest groups. Someone has an interest and wants to find others that have those same interests. In my recent cases it has a WordPress meetup and blogger meetup.

Many are facilitated through like Meetup.com, which is free to use and free to join. These can be groups for interests ranging from jogging to atheism to bourbon. The only limit you have on the meetup is how many people will decide they are interested in that topic as well.

So how can you incorporate meetups into your business? How can you capitalize on this trend of people wanting to get out of the house?

Maybe you have a bourbon enthusiasts website and you want to grow your audience. You could start a local group and talk about bourbon and then invite the people at your meetup to join your site. Or maybe you have a personal training business that you are trying to grow. You could start a workout meetup once a month that you lead and be sure to let everyone know that you are for hire as a personal trainer.

And if you have a somewhat mundane business, like selling mattresses, you can still take advantage of this trend. Most mattress stores are spacious, so start a meetup on a something you are interested in personally and host it at the store. You now have people who are going to sit in your store once a week/month and stare at all your furniture for an hour. Who do you think they’ll call when it’s time to buy furniture?

There are many ways to be capitalizing on the newest social trend of meetups, you just need to get creative and put yourself out there!

What sort of meetups do you attend? Are they beneficial to your business?

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Leave a comment below or chat with me on Twitter, I’d love to hear from you.

Have a great week!

Criticism in Leadership: You’re Doing It Wrong If You’re Not Being Criticized

To be an effective leader, one must put themselves out there far enough to be criticized. If you’re not far enough out, nobody will criticize you, and nobody will follow you.

I noticed this phenomenon a few years ago. Contrasting two people in the same office: the office manager could do anything they wanted (excellent or useless) and they would receive little criticism over it.

On the other hand, one of the same people in the office happened to be a leader of the organization. Their every move was scrutinized, down to the time of their arrival (even if it was early they were “showing off” that day). Not everyone could see this as objectively as I could back then, but I want to shed some light on the reasons for this today. Criticism in leadership go hand in hand, here’s why.

Comfort Zone

First things first, leaders must make a conscious choice to step up and live out of their comfort zone. Think about it, who wants to follow the whimpy person in the corner who isn’t brave enough to stand up for what they believe in?

Living outside of their comfort zone forces leaders to constantly push themselves. Leadership means having to deal with situations that are not pleasant (aka comfortable) such as firing people or asking people to take pay cuts in hard times. Leadership can also be picking up a piece of trash in the parking lot on the way into the building, people notice small acts of character like that.

Under a Microscope

I like to think of a leader as someone who voluntarily walks under a microscope and says, “Here I am, let me have it!” Because their every move will be judged. If you are the leader of a company, your decisions will affect others and how they are doing their jobs so that is expected. Everyone has an opinion on your decisions.

If you are not at the top of an organization, many people will look to do their part and humble you when you make a questionable decision. This usually sounds like, “I told you you didn’t have to work that hard on that project,” or, “Why are you picking up trash? That’s gross, we have a janitor for that.”

People want to stay on the same plane with others, it’s hard for most people to see you rise above them. It’s because your peers recognize the leadership in those actions that they will bring criticism your way. It’s hard for many people to encourage others to shine, because they think they will be left in the dark.

Everyone has a chance to lead, or in this case, shine. That same person that brought criticism on you has the same choice you did, they can stand out or they can fit in. Leaders choose to be under a microscope, it forces us into that uncomfortable place where everyone can see and judge us.

Transparency

With criticism comes accountability, and the good leaders there take that head on. They don’t make excuses and they don’t shy away from the microscope. If you put yourself out there, be prepared to be criticized and then held accountable.

Since people are watching your every move, they will want to know your motives. The only way to lead effectively and not drive yourself crazy is to operate with full transparency. If people are left to guess at your motives, they will come up with some outlandish things.

This is how many office rumors start, a leader makes choices in the shadows and doesn’t explain to their people the reasons for X, Y, and Z actions. They will come up with their own ideas that are warped and typically don’t give you the benefit of the doubt. So you spend time diffusing those rumors or soothing upset people on the front lines.

The only thing worse than operating behind a cloak of mystery is to lie to your people. To “throw them off the trail” of what you are doing or your true motives. This is toxic leadership and shows complete lack of trust in one’s own organization. This will kill an organization from within.

Daily Preparation

Leadership doesn’t take a day off. You can have a lack in productivity, you can make a mistake with figures, but you cannot let your character slide. If you operate with transparency, you will be able to bounce back from mistakes on your work, but it is infinitely more difficult to repair your perceived character within an organization when your leadership stumbles.

Expect to take criticism on the chin, it’s going to happen every day. You have to be prepared to be resilient in uncomfortable situations and bounce back with honesty to your people. Nobody trusts or follows a liar, transparency in your daily operations are crucial. And above all else, do not compromise on your character or that criticism will tear you apart from the inside out.

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What is your experience with criticism in leadership? How has it affected your leadership style?

Leave me a comment below or chat with me on Twitter, I’d love to hear from you.

Have a great day!

“I’m huge on Linkedin” – Avoiding Social Ego Boosts

Since I try to publicize my blog in as many places as I can find, I have to keep all of my social media accounts up to date and active so my work can be published on each platform. Yesterday I was checking my notifications on Linkedin, one of my least checked profiles.

I took note of few new things, but only after I got stuck enjoying how many “endorsements” I have been given. Today we need to address avoiding social ego boosts like those endorsements.

Feeding the Ego

I noticed how much flair I have from people “endorsing” me for skills I have. I don’t really take much notice in this because I’ve never really tried to get that boosted up, I just kind of get notifications for it.

I believe it’s a technique Linkedin uses to get it’s users to interact with other users. Feigning it’s own relevance and in some cases giving people false hope about what they’re good at.

Seriously, knowing Microsoft Office is not an actual skill, nor is the generic term Retail. These are vanity metrics that don’t mean much. Yes, they are supposed to help identify what your skills are to potential employers, partners, or customers. But what if I just made those up? What if I had zero public speaking experience and I just asked people to endorse me for that?

Easy to Fake

Why not just message a bunch of people and ask them to promote you for a certain skill? I could go from 29 marketing recommendations to 99+ overnight if 1/2 of my connections simply pressed “endorse” on my profile.

Employers and partners know this, and they don’t care that people have endorsed you for paper skill. They need something more compelling than that.

What’s not as easy to fake is a real recommendations that people give you. This can be on Linkedin, this can be on your website, or these can be hand written that you take with you to an interview. A real recommendation with actual details of how you have helped someone is worth much more than the click of a button to “endorse” someone.

Remember the 99%’ers?

We created that phenomenon. We created whiny brats that felt entitled to good paying jobs. We let them think that just because 400 people follow them on Twitter, they are relevant and someone should pay them $60,000 a year out of college without experience. We let them think that they don’t need real skills or experience, they just need a piece of paper that states their GPA. We let them feel this entitlement.

We can’t let ourselves get caught up in our “social relevance” or we’ll feel a sense of entitlement that will keep customers, employers, and partners from wanting to work with us. Some of us work in the digital space, and there’s nothing wrong with that (I mostly do myself). But we can’t let ourselves get trapped there.

Warning for the week: don’t get so wrapped up in social media vanity metrics that you forget to focus on the things that really matter. Make a conscious effort to make some real world connections this week instead of checking your social accounts to see who liked your picture on Instagram.

If you’re feeling bold, turn all your notifications off for the week. You’ll be amazed at what happens (no the world doesn’t end on Facebook with you knowing it) when you aren’t slowed down and distracted by all those pings. Avoiding social ego boosts is difficult, but it’s worth it when you make real connections after lifting your head from the screen!

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Have something to add to this? Leave me a comment below or chat with me on Twitter, I’d love to hear your feedback!

Have a great week!

How I had to Humble Myself to Learn More

While in my pursuit to continually educate myself, I went to WordPress meetup here in Charleston 2 nights ago. It was just $5 and both presenters were covering topics I want to learn more about. Plus, it was a great reason to leave the house, something that doesn’t happen all that often since I work from a laptop!

Being Dwarfed

As expected, I didn’t know anyone there with the exception of one guy I invited from my blogger meetup the week before. I was definitely out of my comfort zone when I walked in, but the good news was that it seemed like a few others were too. The pizza relaxed us all.

The first speaker began and I felt the urge to ask a question, but as most people in a room full of strangers, I didn’t want to bring a ton of attention to myself seemingly not knowing what I’m talking about. That wasn’t going to stop me and I shot out the first interruption/question of the night.

The speaker, Cheryl, answered my question and helped open up the room for the first bit of discussion for the night: success! I thought I asked an insightful, helpful question. You know, the kind where everyone is thinking it, but only one person asks it? Not the case…

Being Dumb

Soon after Cheryl took the stage, John, was up next to cover a specific plugin I have used before. I didn’t have any questions for him, but everyone else did.

Apparently not many people came to listen to Cheryl, they all wanted to hear what John had to say. His topic was a little more of a case study versus theory with Cheryl.

Some of their questions were very in depth and made mine from the previous speaker seemed childish. I quickly came to the realization I was in a room full of people way smarter than me.

Their expertise was apparent, their questions were detailed to show their proficiency, and they were genuinely curious about the information the presenter was giving.

I felt dumb and I loved it.

The speakers wrapped up the night and everyone began to disperse. I was able to get some time with both of them to make some new connections and ask some more questions about their topics. Overall I learned a lot in a short period of time that would have taken me days or weeks on my own through research.

Being Humbled

It sounds weird to say I felt dumb, but trust me I don’t have an inferiority complex (those that know me well are smiling and nodding your heads right now). It was a good thing, here’s why.

When I am able to put myself in a place where I’m not the expert, I can soak up knowledge and experience from the people around me. It is true we can learn something from everyone, but we learn a lot more from people that know more than us.

In this particular topic, WordPress, I have a lot to learn. It humbling to say, “I don’t know about this, can you help me?” to an open room full of people whom I perceived to be ‘experts’ on this subject.

How often do I humble myself to learn more like that? Not enough

The cool part about this meetup was even though I thought most of the people in the room were smarter than me, they were still here to learn from the speakers. They too wanted to keep learning and keep reaching up to other experts!

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What are you doing to reach up to those with more knowledge than you? How are you growing your skills?

I would love to hear these answers are more about continually learning so leave a comment below to start the discussion!

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Have a great weekend & try to stay warm!

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Getting Unstuck on a Project

When I woke up today I had no idea what I was going to write about. My list of ideas seemed shorter than ever, and none of the topics staring at me through the steam of my coffee seemed worthwhile. Getting unstuck on a project is difficult when we hit that wall.

Selfish vs. Selfless

So instead, I worked on something different, something for someone else. I attempted to be selfless this morning instead of selfish, as I usually am with my morning hours.

When we take the focus off of ourselves, we are able to take a step back and look at our project with a fresh perspective. Doing something for someone else takes the focus off of us and puts it on the person we’re doing something for.

This is helpful considering when we get stuck all we can do is stare at that project, dumbfounded. We think we’ve exhausted all our options, we think there is no way over, around, or through that obstacle. All we can think about is this wall, and it hinders our ability to think creatively or solve that problem.

Getting Unstuck on a Project

As I said a few weeks back, I’m going to “give my way to transformation” this year. I walked away from my work to give for a bit and came back with a renewed sense of purpose, more creativity than I left with, and a clear direction for what’s next.

If you’re stuck in a rut, take a step back and go do something for someone else. Don’t look for repayment, don’t look to have someone indebted to you, just go do something for someone else and stop thinking selfishly for a while.

Maybe it’s a making breakfast for the family, maybe it’s thank you note, or maybe it’s helping a co-worker on a project they are stuck on. Whatever it is, give some time and give some energy and you’ll be amazed at how renewed you come back feeling.

When you come back to your personal project, you’ll feel refreshed and ready to attack your wall like it was never an obstacle to begin with!

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