Every group is defined by their energy. In a work setting, this is sometimes called your company’s culture. I think it’s more than that. Groups can be a small work meeting or organized teams or simply a family gathering. Each group has its own energy.
Most of the time that energy is defined by the loudest, most outgoing person in the group by default. Other times the energy is defined by the situation. When you’re solving a problem the atmosphere can be exciting and when you’re talking about loss the mood can be dampened. A group’s energy is fickle. It is not pre-determined by any set of magical factors. Group energy can be easily swayed by anyone willing to (consciously or unconsciously) pour themselves into the group. Energy can take its own form or you can mold it to your will – that choice is yours.
Emotions are contagious. And if you’re willing to lead, you can be the one to lift your group’s emotions out of the proverbial gutter.
First, you have to recognize that your group needs your energy. The best time to decide this is before you’re together. Get yourself in the mindset that you, and only you, can bring the energy the group needs. If you depend on someone else you’re not leading. And if you’re not set on doing it beforehand, you probably won’t have the strength or motivation to do it in the heat of the moment.
Bringing emotional energy to a group can be scary. Some people will ridicule you and try to bring you down. They don’t hate you, they just aren’t ready to stray from the pack. If you’re not prepared to stick with your strategy, you’ll abandon it. By resolving to be positive before you’re in a group, you’ll be more likely to carry out your plan.
Next, don’t be brought down by Debbie-Downers or Negative-Neals in your group. You will have them and they will oppose you, but you mustn’t allow them to drag you down. The other members of your group, besides you and Debbie/Neal, will be faced with a choice. They will have to choose to follow you or Debbie/Neal. People want to be happy and excited. Your argument for positive thinking must be as strong or stronger than your opponents or you’ll lose that swing vote.
Finally, lead with energy! Wear a smile, make eye contact, and don’t be afraid to touch people (in appropriate ways, of course) to demonstrate your leadership. When you speak, let your eyes light up and use your hands. When you listen, nod your head and pay close attention. When you have the floor, let people feel your passion and excitement for the topic. People will recognize your energy and they will respond.
Remember, if you don’t bring the energy, it will take its own form. That could be decided by Debbie and Neal or it could be decided by you. The choice – to lead – is yours.
